straight friend: is she cute?
me: well first of all, all girls are cute, so jot that down
me when i’m depressed: this bitch empty, YEET
i hear sum dudes dont like cellulite on women.. that’s wild.. u childish if that apply 2 u.. u a child, brah.. u a baby.. imma burp u.. oop.. got ur nose..
Do you ever eat popcorn out of the palm of your own hand with such ardent desperation that you feel like both a wild horse and the gentle schoolgirl feeding it treats to gain its affection
Fuck a math
I don’t need to know anything beyond counting to 2 (maximum number of nipples and dollars i will ever have)
i love girls but they’re out of my league … like every single girl… all of them.. out of my league
